We all come out of the womb at birth as sinners. As babies and small children we all have an innate propensity to get in trouble every minute. It’s the anti-spiritual effect of a cursed Earth, thanks to Adam and Eve handing over to the title deed of the planet to satan. As we grow into toddlers we want what other kids have and we want the things we cannot have. As we grow older this morphs into jealousy and coveting, and deep down inside of us our survival instinct kicks in and we even frame people we don’t even know as the enemy. And oh how we love to gossip about it and do mental gymnastics to justify it. It even finds a way into competitive sports and especially those involving teams we are a big fan of. I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and I know people who literally hate other teams opposed to the Dallas Cowboys. It even permeates the lives of Christian Believers. None of us are exempt.

Galatians 5:19-21 details the deeds of the flesh: “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, indecent behavior, idolatry, witchcraft, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these”..

I have a situation in my own life that I am struggling with. When I retired three years ago we had just terminated one third of our employees as a preemptive strike to the possible effects on our business from the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic. We literally did not have enough people left to run the business. As a regional vice president, this came to bear directly on my shoulders. With the no overtime and hiring freeze policies implemented, everything came to a screeching halt.

Months earlier an executive management change was made and our VP of Finance became my direct manager. I was in operations. This gentleman had no operations experience and he and I had a personality conflict from the start. Our daily zoom meetings did not go well after the mass termination and quite frankly I’d just had enough of it and I retired (quit).

As a Believer I had a lot of trouble handling this situation in my heart. As much as I prayed for him and myself I just could not let go of it. I even went to a Christian counselor for guidance on that and a few other things. As time went by I was eventually able to let go of it. However..

The gentleman that previously owned the company I retired from has started a new company. The new company is in direct competition to the old company. I keep in touch with a lot of people at my old company and apparently moral is low and everything is an organizational mess. The new company contacted me last year to do some light consulting work on computer programs and procedures. I felt like I was doing it for the wrong reasons. It’s gets even worse..

The new company contacted me last month and asked me to contact a commercial real estate agent and find a distribution center for their Dallas expansion. They are based out of Los Angeles as was my old company. Many of the old employees are now working at the new company, including the man who was my direct manager in operations since 1993. He and I have known each other since 1978. He is my direct contact. He is also a Believer. Despite this, some of our conversations are highly critical of management at our previous employer. Some part of me tries to justify it because it’s business. I expect a permanent job offer once we locate a building.

As we approach that time when the job offer becomes a reality, we are going to recruit the management team and key personnel from our competitors Dallas operation. These people worked for me for many years. I trained and mentored them. The vast majority of them are Believers. I had dinner with them last week with an old friend of mine from Denver is who is now their manager. The old friend is a preacher and marriage counselor and a strong Believer. Obviously we did not discuss the new company. I did not utter a word about it.

I’m at a point in my retirement where I need to go back to work, despite many health issues including planter fasciitis and prostate cancer. I’m incurring extra expense related to my Mom’s estate, including remodeling her home for resale. None of these extra expenses were forecast in my retirement budget.

Even though this is an opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a new business and reestablish old customer connections and the like, something deep down inside of me is whispering this is not right. I literally feel like I’m doing it for revenge. I keep praying about it and asking God and Jesus for wisdom, but so far I’m kind of stuck. The deafening silence from God is probably my answer.

If anyone out there is a front line prayer warrior, please add me to your list. I would be forever grateful and thankful. I will ask God to watch over those who pray for me and I will pray for you as well.

Peace and Truth to you in The Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..